went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
