he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
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She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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