The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
