fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
