I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
