I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
