I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
