You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
