He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
