I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
