My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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