The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
