it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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