oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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