I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
