Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
