I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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