Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
