Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He? As in you personified your dick?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
