if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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