i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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