New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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