I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
