Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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