It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
