If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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