I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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