Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
