if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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