woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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