Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
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Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
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You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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