I wish I could punch you in the face.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
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