Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Enjoy the penises
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
