Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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