So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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