Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
