I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
