whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
