I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
