turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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