So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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