I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I have already put on my inside pants.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
