Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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