Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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