His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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