just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
