16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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