yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
