Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize