do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
