This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
