I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
